King of Dreams
Harry N Down
“Bloody fantastic Steve! I love the way those chips taste.”
“Ya fish ain’t bad either Kev!”
Meal done and bedtime seems to come by all too quickly.
The rainbow reflects the rays of sun as sunlight and light misty rain welcomes us to the new day.
The lake is still and the reflections are mirroring perfect.
This morning the birds are singing a different tune. One that is relaxing and welcoming.
I start packing a few supplies. The way Kev and I drink, we must take ample stock so as not to embarrass our host.
The thing is, both Kev and I like ta knock back a few and that apparently is more than the average person considers standard.
Oh well not ta worry.
To my recollection, no one has ever complained or even said anything so maybe it is just me feeling guilty about enjoying myself.
Ah yes; the old I feel guilty feeling.
Kev told me when we first met that guilt was something hammered into us as children.All the phrases that people never really thought mattered.
“You’ll never make anything of yaself.”
“You will never amount to anything.”
“You don’t deserve this or that.”
“If ya had all the money in the world you’d only waste it.”
“You’re always wasting your money on others.”
“Anything you get would be wasted on you.”
“I look after your money because you have no idea.”
The words echo through my head as clear as day.
Once you accept guilt, you own it!
I remember some bloke told me that I should be offended by the words and those people who taunted me.
I figure it really is a waste.
I mean what is being offended all about?
It is just another excuse to whine and moan about something that has nothing to do within the greater scheme of things.
To say one finds something offensive; it has no meaning, it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase.
I am offended by this or that.
Well, so fucking what!
Kev’s voice breaks my thought pattern.
“You ok. I heard you talking to yaself.”
“Err, yeah I am, I was just thinking about guilty feelings.”
“Steve, we talked about this before. Guilty feelings have to do with being guilty of something. Not being guilty of what others think ya should be guilty of. Now get that stuff in the car and we’ll be off.”
“None of ya cheek Stevie boy.”
The atmosphere has once more moved up a notch.
To be continued ................. HERE