Sunday, October 4, 2015

Free to be me

I want to be the best person I want to be but how can I when whatever I say is judged as being racist, or is called discrimination or politically incorrect by people who do not even know me.

How can I be free to be me and express my viewpoints when I am constantly being questioned about my motives and my beliefs?

What is it that makes a human being, a free person, who has the freedom to speak with out fear of being ridiculed or persecuted? We in the western world are fast learning the culture of those that want to dictate how we live and breathe.

The western world needs to take back the freedoms that it is losing to minorities that come to our countries seeking the freedoms we offer, yet expect their beliefs and cultures to be held above ours. We should not be changing to help them fit, they should be adapting so that they fit our world.

So when will it end?

It will end when we stop tolerating the disrespect these minorities show our countries, our traditions and our cultures. It will stop when western governments legislate new laws that put its own people and their nation first above all else.

Author Steve Boddey

Anxiety and Me

I was first diagnosed back in 1999 with depression and anxiety after my first marriage came to an end. I thought the end of the world was nigh and life itself was over.

Had I known what I know now my life would have continued on a different path however sometimes you have to take the hits to learn a lesson?

My wife and I have discussed my last work situation were I ended up resigning due to health issues. I should have left some six months earlier but didn’t due to being afraid.

There was the fear of every kind from money issues to personal issues to relationship issues to ridiculous issues; all of them unfounded.

We would have survived no matter what.

Our dream has been to be home together writing and maybe making a few dollars here and there. Well that dream is now reality albeit not exactly as we would have liked but it has happened never the less.

My point is, when things happen to anxious people we are always looking at it from the negative side. In this case we take the positive stand. I don’t have to work in an environment that clash with my beliefs. I don’t have to be bullied nor tolerate unreasonable work conditions.

I am doing what I wanted to do, write from home along side my wife.

That is taking a positive from a negative.

Author Steve boddey


My hands will shake mainly my right hand so when I am out I try to keep my hands in my pockets. People will often ask about or mention my shaking, sometimes I can deal with it other times it is annoying to continually have to explain.

There are times when I see incidents happen and it is frustrating to see people suffer. I try not to let things bother than me after all it is out of my control. It is bit like the saying about expecting a lion not to eat you because you didn’t eat him.

I have read most of the information on anxiety and how to cope but everyone is different and it requires different techniques because although anxiety is the issue, each individual needs to be treated in different ways.

What works for one doesn’t mean it will work for another! There is too much generalisation when it comes to anxiety and depression and more than likely other problems we humans face.

I can’t tell you what to do to overcome or assist you in your fight against anxiety as I am still fighting my battles but I can tell you the story of what happened to me and let you follow your own path knowing that you are not alone.

Author Steve Boddey

Anxiety Wars

I mentioned in another post that I was first diagnosed with anxiety/depression back in 1999 although it was probably earlier but I didn’t know or understand what was going on.

Anxiety simply put, is the result of pre-empting events or situations that have not happened or believing something is or will happen that may or may not be true.

In my case I use the example of my hands shaking. I go to take my card out to pay for goods and the checkout operator will look at me. Imagine being given change when you hand over cash.

My mind starts worrying about what people must be thinking. I feel embarrassed and ashamed which only adds to the problem. Whether or not people notice or not does come into it, you just assume that it has been noticed and they think you are a drunk, mentally disturbed or both.

On four different occasions I have been bullied at work in a short period of time  and whilst injured had 3 case managers try to bully me into taking jobs I was not suited for, so now, as soon the scenario starts occurring, it is straight into panic/anxiety mode.

I am honestly surprised I have not lashed out violently although I have broken down and cried liked a baby.

My wife has seen the results of what happens when I get extreme anxiety. She came to pick me up and I was white as a ghost and just slumped in the car, my eyes closing and opening as we drove home.

Once home it was off to bed and I slept for the rest of the day.

Author Steve Boddey

Anxiety and Bullying in another Workplace

Swapping jobs was a refreshing change, or so I thought. Checking up on people and their goods as they pass through a drive through can be traumatic sometime with the arrogance of customers who think they can disrespect those that are there to assist them.

The amount of times I heard customer’s abuse staff was incredible. The amount of times I heard senior management abuse staff was incredible. If you complained you were obviously a trouble maker which is what I ended up being.

I took what I considered a funny article into work and shared it around. Unfortunately this was seen as distributing anti religious material. Not that anyone complained because nobody including senior management who read it said anything other than laugh.

Of course I was also accused of being disrespectful and making certain comments which were untrue, however management were able to obtain statements from dubious sources claiming that I did.

It should also be mentioned that I had reported several of senior management for bullying which was ignored as well as assisting and other staff in reporting managers for abuse and inappropriate behavior. I also made complaints to head office regarding failure to pay employees.

Upon advise from my GP I resigned and find myself where I am today on a sickness benefit that I am not sure where it will lead me.

Author Steve Boddey

Anxiety and Workplace Bullying

At work all my experiences of operating a press shop came out however the company was saying it wanted to improve and become competitive yet was not prepared to change.

On many occasions I was asked to make parts that I had made a few days earlier. I was told they had used them up. The frustration at the incompetence was unbelievable I started checking up on things and found the parts I had made stuck behind boxes or up in  racks. It happened time and time again so I complained.

I wrote a letter to my supervisor highlighting all the areas that needed addressing without pointing any fingers and supplying easy ways to fix things. I had already, in my area implemented my ideas. This is when the bullying started.

My performance was constantly challenged, any mistakes I made were highlighted and on several occasions I was given wrong material which I picked up on until I took over from an employee on a CNC Machine. Fifty sheets were processed using the wrong material.

I was quickly taken into the office to be disciplined however I was aware that the material could be used for another job also three months earlier an employee had made the same kind of mistake with coated sheets that had to be scrapped.
That employee was never disciplined nor even spoken too.

I was then moved to a production line where I ended up with the injury that I have today.

Author Steve Boddey

Anxiety and Workcover

A meeting was set up with work and my Doctors and as usual I got myself ready for work and caught the bus into town where the meeting was to be held.

There was the nerve doctor, my normal doctor and my psychologist and on the work front there was the Human Resources manager his assistant and my supervisor.

Let me be quick, after the meeting I was unemployed. Not one of the Company reps present made any comments other than there wasn’t any work for me and an agreement to part ways, they would still pay me until Workcover took my case on full time.

With so much free time on my hands I took to writing again I had this blog and a few other things that I could do. I took on the household chores and of course the cooking. The situation at the time was ideal as I paced myself through out the day.

Workcover soon took over and I was given a case manager and assigned some one to get me back to work. I still had all my appointments to attend to and my doctors warned me not to take a job that I didn’t want.

Back to bullying, the company assigned to finding me a job all of a sudden found the task too difficult and started writing to the Workcover case manager that I was uncooperative and exaggerating the extent of my injury. Once more I was shattered that those that are supposed to help are actually abusers.

Author Steve Boddey


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