The Anxiety Clause

The last couple of days have been somewhat of a blur since I received a phone call from PATHS with anxiety levels pumping in like never before. This is one of the worst anxiety/panic attacks I have had.

The call was on Tuesday then another on Wednesday today is Friday and I am only just starting to calm down.

The emotional strain on me and my wife has been draining as well as challenging our journey with anxiety/panic attacks. Just when one thinks improvements have been made towards dealing with anxiety another attack happens out of nowhere.

Although I initially thought the words return to work are what triggered the attack, it occurred to me that it was more likely the fact that PATHS report back to my case manager and could have an effect on whether I continue to receive benefits.

It is maybe, all about control because I don’t have it.

As I look back over the bullying that has happened to me and the tactics that were used I am not surprised I suffered an attack as severe as this one. It has always been those that had control that were responsible for the bullying using their authority to manipulate the situation to achieve their goal. For my part, I tried to remain professional and polite but to no avail.

I now have the job of picking myself up and starting again until the next time.

Author Steve Boddey