A simple call from PATHS (Providing Access to Health Services) sent my anxiety levels through the roof.
After enquiring as to my progress via CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) CADS (Community Alcohol and Drug Services) and the Gym the topic turned to my return to work.
The heart beat went up and I found myself gulping my breath. I was straining to remain calm on the phone. I felt trapped and betrayed. This person had stated I was the one to decide when I would return to work.
Of course whether or not the person meant it or had just wanted me to give an indication of where I was at I don’t know. I had become lost in the anxiety of it all.
I struggled to put the phone back in its place as beads of sweat formed and ran down into my eyes. My eyes were then irritated and my glasses smeared. In the bathroom I washed my face looking in the mirror watching wet patches make an appearance on my shirt. My arms and hands spasm as I try to calm myself down.
At night the dreams started and all the things that had gone now returned to once more haunt me. I feel I am back where I started from just one phone call.
Author Steve Boddey