Tuesday, October 9, 2018

My Essential Tremor Journey

My ET journey would have been mild if it not been for a series of unexpected bumps.

My ET should have just been hereditary, just mild tremors that would come and go with minimal disruption to everyday life however a work injury would be the start of a life changing struggle.

The work injury caused damage to the ulnar nerve in my right arm. I would drop things, have difficulty picking things up and of course pain.

This injury also brought with it some friends that I have gotten to know intimately, stress, anxiety and depression. I still have these friends come visit even today. It was being bullied in the workplace that started to have an affect on me. It created anger, frustration and confusion. I could not believe what was happening especially in a world where bullying is supposedly unacceptable.

I could no longer do my job so I was placed on Workcover (an organization that looks after people with work injuries and I use that term loosely) I was eventually given a payout and decided to move from Australia to New Zealand to remove myself from the constant reminders of my experiences.

I still suffered pain and I did start to notice my hands shaking more than normal but thought nothing of it. I found work as a security officer but even over here in overly PC New Zealand I once again became a victim of bullying and so the nightmare began again. I left and found another job, still doing security however it just became more of the same, more bullying and the ones that were supposed to be enforcing anti-bullying laws were the main culprits.

It all came to a head when I helped another employee write a complaint letter. Senior management found out and all of a sudden I was being accused of various things. I finally snapped, collapsed in the car never to return again.

My Dr placed me on a not able to work program and I have been on it ever since. I was sent to a specialist who within a matter of minutes diagnosed ET brought on by stress, anxiety, depression, PTSD and my ongoing workplace injury.

I shake I twitch and lose balance. When I see others being mistreated like I was I get emotional and angry. I take meds and have are numerous CBT sessions of which few work as my PTSD from bullying runs very deep.

ET is not just about shaking; it is also about stress, worry, anxiety, frustration and depression. These things add to the dilemma we suffers face.

If you think my shakings bad come inside my head.

Author Steve Boddey

No comments:


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...