One of the things that my ex wives were very good at was to niggle away at you when they were angry or upset with you. Do not get me wrong I certainly was no saint but I also definitely DID NOT do a lot of the things I was accused of.
The outside world including my family saw one side but inside was a vastly different world that even those that finally did see what was/had been happening and had come to face with what was really going on were repulsed and refuse to accept the truth.
They would say there had to be something more.
My father was born in 1929 and died in 1989 but there is little known about his early childhood other than what was past down by word of mouth and that isn’t very reliable.
He was sent away to a convent/orphanage because his mother couldn’t or didn’t want him. His father was a drunkard and that is the reason my grandmother threw him out so the story goes and another reason why my father was sent away.
Unfortunately no records of the said convent/orphanage can be found so it is difficult to piece together what actually happen during his youth and early adulthood.
He would constantly remind us as we were growing up of how hard his life was compared to others and how God had blessed him and it was his way or the highway.
My father was the ultimate God Botherer constantly reading and preaching from the bible especially when he needed to get a point across like wives should do as they are told, children should do whatever they were asked and provide for their mother and father for as long as they lived.
Little did I realise that growing up like that was a form of abuse without even mentioning the beatings. Those beatings where for what you had done wrong, what you may have done wrong or for what you will do wrong. Note, they didn’t happen that often but often enough to keep you on your toes.
I joined the Navy at 15 to try and get away and that is where I discovered a whole new world. My sister got pregnant and left home because my father who was disgraced but also didn’t like the long haired lout who he blamed for everything didn’t like the fact the child would not be brought up in the Catholic faith.
Note my sister is still married to the man. I think it is 30 years now.
We were brought up to show respect and do what we were told to do. If my father told us to do something we did it no questions and if there were question we were venturing into the devils world.
Even when I was in the Navy I was told by my father to send $50 a week home so he didn’t have to rent out my bed to someone else. Whatever happened to that money I do not know?
Last night I had a dream where my father was in bed playing with all his electronic devices that he would buy or had brought from money he received from his pension. I knocked on the door and walked in passing him something he had wanted.
He told me to give him my wallet and my passport as he didn’t want me leaving. I watched myself doing exactly as I was asked and walked out of the room.
I then woke up.
Sitting on the side of the bed I could here my ex wives chanting “You’re just like your father.”
Getting up from the bed I mumbled. “OH no I’m NOT!”
Author Steve Boddey