It is interesting to note that when anyone speaks about abuse some one always asks the question “Why don’t they leave?”
Usually followed with a remark like “I’d never let that happen to me!”
In most cases people do not realise what is happening until they are trapped in the circle of abuse.
They live in fear of everything from being perceived as a bad person, losing all their worldly possessions, losing their kids, fear of not being able to cope, fear of losing their job and probably the lack of self-esteem leads to the fear of never finding a healthy relationship.
The word abuse conjures up the image of beating but really abuse is about torture.
That is torture of another human being by another.
Physical, verbal and mental abuse should all be taken very seriously however I believe the most damaging is verbal/mental abuse. It is the subtle way in which it is done from the constant criticism and continual questioning of ones abilities, to the controlling of finances, movement, who you see and who you don’t.
When some one tells you that you will burn in hell if you don’t do this or that is abuse. It is a threat to get control so that you do what is being asked.
Both Karen Boddey and I have been victims of this type of thing.
Maybe that is why we get on so well. Maybe that is why we understand the meaning of what is like to be truly happy never taking anything or anyone for granted.
Maybe we just don’t want to go there again.
Author Steve Boddey