Coco La Belle and Excerise

In my last post I mentioned how exciting it would be and how I was so very much looking forward to the walks. Let me tell you something. This get fit campaign isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Let me talk you through what happens. We all get ready to go. I get so excited I always have to run outside to have a twinkle. Dad is always first to be ready and Mum, well let's just not say too much.

Once we are ready to go dad opens the gate and I am off.

Well ...... my feet are moving but I am not. The collar is tight around my neck as I try to rush forward. Mum and dad haven't moved yet.

Dad tugs on my lead and tells me to sit. I do as I am told. Sigh!

The collar loosens and I sit there in anticipation. of being out in the fresh air, sniffing the ground, peeing at will and generally doing doggie things. Ya Think?

OH NO!

There are rules for going walking. No one ever told me that! Yes there are rules!

No getting excited and rushing out the gate. You have to be calm and follow dad or mum at a pace they choose.

Dad normally takes me first, as his pace is more to my liking. He will tug at my lead if I get too far ahead of myself. Mum follows behind. I have learnt that if I stay next to mum and dad they don't tug on my lead and we are constantly on the move. I have also learnt that if I am patient I get to do the doggie things once we arrive at the oval. You see dad runs around it and mum takes me off to have fun until we catch up with dad.

Dad hasn't done any running for a long time so as I am sniffing my way around I am always looking up to see where he is and mum is always looking to make sure he is OK.

Today dad ran the whole circumference of the field. That is six soccer pitches and he ran about half that again.

After about half an hour we head back home and that is where dad takes over and walks me home.

By the time we get home I am exhausted.

So bed time for me my little darlings.

Till next time eat healthier and keep exercising.

Coco La Belle xx

Written by Steve Boddey on behalf of Coco La Belle.

Offended you are

To be offended or take offence to some action or verbal conversation there needs to be a reaction from a person taking the said action or verbal altercation to a personal level.

So, as I have stated in previous post concerning people claiming to be offended they are actually the problem.

If some calls you a name or commits an act that is in conflict with your lifestyle or beliefs or whatever YOU don’t have to like it, YOU don’t have to acknowledge it YOU do not have to respond to it.

YOU can walk away, YOU can ignore it YOU can brush it aside because it says more about them than YOU.

However, YOU will work yourself up into frenzy, YOU will take it on board, YOU will take it personally, YOU will whine and moan and YOU will go on and on about it but more importantly YOU will in YOUR own mind determine that the offending was a deliberate and malicious act solely directed at YOU and YOURS.

Whether the act or verbally exchange was done with complete innocence YOU will have YOUR slice of the action and YOU will know exactly what was meant by the act or verbal communication.

So we now know that when one claims to be offended it really is all about YOU!

The views in this post are all about me not YOU!

Author Steve Boddey

Abuse Abused Abuser

It is interesting to note that when anyone speaks about abuse some one always asks the question “Why don’t they leave?”
Usually followed with a remark like “I’d never let that happen to me!”

In most cases people do not realise what is happening until they are trapped in the circle of abuse.

They live in fear of everything from being perceived as a bad person, losing all their worldly possessions, losing their kids, fear of not being able to cope, fear of losing their job and probably the lack of self-esteem leads to the fear of never finding a healthy relationship.

The word abuse conjures up the image of beating but really abuse is about torture.
That is torture of another human being by another.

Physical, verbal and mental abuse should all be taken very seriously however I believe the most damaging is verbal/mental abuse. It is the subtle way in which it is done from the constant criticism and continual questioning of ones abilities, to the controlling of finances, movement, who you see and who you don’t.
 
When some one tells you that you will burn in hell if you don’t do this or that is abuse. It is a threat to get control so that you do what is being asked.

Both Karen Boddey and I have been victims of this type of thing.
Maybe that is why we get on so well. Maybe that is why we understand the meaning of what is like to be truly happy never taking anything or anyone for granted.

Maybe we just don’t want to go there again.

Author Steve Boddey

Bullying Panic Attacks Anxiety and Stress

I was already a bit apprehensive about going to work however I had been assured that Mr Bully would not be working on Friday.

Friday 27^th December 2013 7:30am Mr Bully with his pigeon chest and gunslinger swagger walk comes through the barriers and heads to his office. I had seen him come through and already the back of my shirt was damp with sweat.

I had told them I could not work for or with him without the senior manger being available. The two complaints I made against him are still yet to be dealt with.

I now notice my chest tighten and breathing becomes difficult. I tell my supervisor I can’t stay. He tells me not to go just yet. My mind races and throws up ideas of what to do. None of them actually register in my brain.

I make my way to my station and start packing my bag fumbling as my hands shake vigorously. My stomach heaves wanting to throw up what little contents it has.

I walk or rather pace around trying to do some of the techniques I have learnt to ease the trauma of the anxiety. They are not working.

My supervisor arrives and I tell him I am sick and need to go home. He asks what’s wrong and then watches as my body convulses, shaking uncontrollably and then I burst out crying. Don’t cry I hear him say just go.

I make my way through the store trying to hide my condition as I pass customers and staff. My attempt to clock out fails and I leave the store.

My wife had been pre-warned that I maybe coming home. I walked quickly about a kilometre before I start to calm down just enough to try the breathing routine I had been taught.

Every noise from the traffic and surrounds is deadened by the sound of my chest thumping. I reach the pick up point where I am to meet my wife. I sit on a bench and throw up. I try the breathing techniques again.

My wife arrives and I slump into the car. My wife tells me my face is ashen and sweaty, and that my breathing heavy. She talks me through the breathing once more and slowly it settles. All I want to do is sleep.

 Author Steve Boddey

Giving a 110 percent

I give one hundred and ten percent in everything I do.

Oh really?

How is that possible?

Quite honestly it is mathematically impossible.

You can give a hundred percent however I want to know where the extra ten percent came from.

You can give fifty percent or eighty percent even one hundred percent but one hundred and ten percent come on I think that is pushing the envelope a bit, don’t you?

There is also that phrase of giving a bit extra.

Does this mean you didn’t give one hundred percent?

How else can you give that little bit extra unless you didn’t give one hundred percent in the first place?

So if you give a hundred percent then you’re done and dusted!

Author Steve Boddey

How to have a Good Relationship

My wife and I are often asked why do we continually express our affection and our love for each other.

The answer is simple; it is our way of continually building and making our relationship stronger.

This is not rocket science.

Love is all about letting the other person develop, grow and become the person they were meant to be with no judgement. Showing someone you love them is better than telling them. It is a lot like a business deal; where two parties agree that they will strive to make the other partner the best version of themselves possible.

Make your partner feel important. Make time for them with no lies, no broken promises and no excuses. Tell them constantly how much you appreciate even the little things they do. Giving some one your time is very precious as it is one thing you can never get back.

The best part of life is those small moments spent smiling laughing and feeling good with that one special person.

Author Steve Boddey

Supermarkets and my Humour

A salad more like it!

I have a sense of humour that sometimes defies logic. I find fun in every day living and there are humorous events happening every where, even in the supermarket.

Why women who go shopping in leggings that are ten sizes too small with those lycra tops in florescent colours like lime, yellow and orange and also are way to small to hold those enormous bosoms that appear to have seen better days.

These women can be seen leaning on the handle of the trolley as if they need to be held up waddling the aisle ways avoid at every opportunity any thing healthy.

From behind it looks like two elephants fighting in a sack and when they actually stand up correctly the layers of fat appearing from the undersized clothing reminds me of a Sara Lee cake with layer upon layer.

Inside the trolley can be found packets of potato crisps, frozen pizzas, a pig head resting on top of six two litre bottles of a variety of sodas and then the pierce de la resistance is a slab of diet coke zero.

The woman is over heard talking to a friend saying that she has a medical problem that causes her weight issues. Me thinks that the top hole is bigger that the bottom hole.

Although I do find these people funny, there are people out there that are genuinely putting in a concerted effort to lose weight (me included) and those are the ones I urge to continue their efforts.

Steve Boddey

Offended Racist

Two phrases that people use that really get up my goat are “I’m offended and you’re a racist.”

Neither phrase makes any sense. I’m offended, so what, be offended, nothing is going to happen. You’re not going to lose any body parts.

“Oh Steve Boddey poked fun at the Lord and I was offended and in the morning my arms fell off.” No they didn’t, nothing happened and nothing is going to happen unless you let it!

You are just an attention seeking twat that has got nothing better to do. I’m offended oh please. To be offended you must take on the offense of what is said or done. Did what was said or done deliberately meant to offend? How do you know? You can’t just assume that it was deliberate but if you do technically you are offending yourself because you’re the one making a big deal about it! Move on, ignore it!

You’re a racist, no I’m not, a racist is someone who believes their race is superior to another. To call someone names is disrespectful not racist. Of course the attention seekers once more raise the wrath of stupidity by insisting this and that is racist.

Bollocks! A real racist is the KKK and they openly admit they are superior. Al Qaeda and ISIS are religious racists they think Islam is the only religion to have and are hell bent on making sure that it is.

So the next time something offends you take a deep breath walk away and mumble something about stupidity

Steve Boddey

My wife My love

I think I was about fourteen when I seriously start looking for the woman of my dreams. I loved music and found myself often caught up in the lyrical magic of music.

I wanted a woman who would love me for who I am and encourage me to follow my dreams. It took some fifty years and two broken marriages before I found the right woman for me. I couldn’t be happier.

A good relationship doesn’t mean you have to lose friends, family dreams or dignity it means both parties encourages each other to grow and become what they were meant to be.

Sure I wish I had met Karen sooner so that I could love her longer but what will be will be and sometimes life just happens like that. So I am grateful for every moment I share with her, I am grateful for everything she does for me but most importantly I am grateful that she is the woman from my dreams all those years ago.

Steve Boddey

I Spy

With all the technology in the world today, being able to check up/spy on someone is a lot easier to do.

Both Karen and I have been victims of this kind of behaviour. I say victims for one simple reason and that is the intent. The intent was to catch us out in whatever the perpetrators mind thought was going on.

When I first met Karen I found myself wanting more and more to be around her even if it was five thousand miles distance between us. She made me feel happy; making me laugh and our humour was similar.

For my part the computer was an open book as I always felt I had nothing to hide that was until I was accused of things that I had typed. The questions then came thick and fast, I found myself continually having to defend my actions which only added to the problem.

If you have nothing to hide you have no need to defend yourself!

What a crock of droppings!

It was from that point on that I started to close things down yet the accusations continued. If I received a text I was expected to read it and share it. My whole life became stifled so I left.

My and Karen’s computers are open books, I have no fear of being accused of doing anything other than being me. We have a standard joke where I pretend to be reading her emails or looking over her shoulder. It is all in good fun, but the question remains, is it a form of abuse?

My belief is it is all about the intent. Why is a partner checking up on you? If you feel uncomfortable with this sort of behaviour then put a stop to it!

I know what is like to have whatever you do scrutinised to the 12^th degree, having all that was written, all that you say twisted and turned against you. Even worse still those that you hold dear are no longer around due to the poison that they have been fed.

I see no reason to be checking up/spying on some ones personal life. If you feel the need to spy on someone then there is a lack of trust, it is then time to move on before it is too late.

Steve Boddey

Anxiety

Everybody suffers from anxiety; however there are those of us who deal with it not quite as well as other people.

When I get anxious I have varying symptoms, these include profuse sweating, difficulty in breathing, feeling light headed, wanting to throw up, tiredness, and of course wanting to find a safe place to be.

I have no idea where it all started although I have tried to find out. By the time I realise I am anxious I have reached the point of no return, so taking deep breaths etc is not an option.

I have sort medical advice and I am on medication. I can’t work because of it but I am working on the basics of restoring my life to some sort of normality. Thank goodness I have a wonderful, understanding wife who also suffers anxiety which actually is a blessing as we both know what each of us is going through.

Many people think anxiety is a sign of weakness and you should get over it. Unfortunately it is not a sign of weakness it is a sign of being strong for too long and NO you don’t just get over it like turning a page in a book.

People have anxiety problems for many different reasons and not all are easily treated. Making sure that any person who suffers anxiety has support is what is important; following a program that suits you in the battle against anxiety.  The road can be a long one as I have found but it can be a short one. You just have keep plugging away.

Steve Boddey

Adelaide Crows

As a lot of my regular followers know I am a huge Adelaide Crows fan. The Crows play Australian Rules Football or to those with a sense of humour aerial ping pong.

The game is played from March/April with the Grand Final (Al la Super Bowl being place on the last Saturday in September. The game is played all round the country with eighteen teams playing over 22 rounds.

There is no padding or protective gear worn although some players have been known to wear gear for head protection. I have put a link to Adelaide’s most recent game that shows highlights of this exciting game and how in the third quarter Rory Sloane suffered a fractured cheek bone.

The Adelaide Crows remain in the top eight which is finals stuff however face a tough road ahead against some very good sides.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHqHzyd46HE

Author Steve Boddey

My wife the love of my life

I love my wife more now than I have ever done before.

There is nothing overly special that she has done other than be her self and letting me be myself.

It is easy in any relationship to become complacent and forget the little things you do or did that kept or keep the magic going. I think that is why people say you need to work hard at a marriage however for me it is easy as I am eternally grateful for each and every moment I have with my wife.

She is my friend, my soulmate, my pillar of strength in times of need but most of all she is the woman I love.

Author Steve Boddey

Anxiety after a few years

It has been quite a few years since I last worked and my anxiety levels have reduced slightly. All I can say is that it is a long road to recovery.

The warmer weather will now entice one to venture outdoors and get the blood flowing with exercise although indoors there are still ways to get the blood pumping.

The panic is still there in full flight when I think about returning to work. Expecting the same things to happen again and again in a consistent thought that travels around and around in my head. Trying to think of a job where I can be myself and feel comfortable is challenging.

The weekend is nearly here; time to loose myself in the love of my wife, leaving the outside world to itself until Monday greets us once more.

Author Steve Boddey

I have a dream

I have a dream, a dream where society lives together in peace and harmony. Where the morals of each one of us is left alone to be judged by no-one.

I have a dream of equality for each and every one of us to live our lives as each of us sees fit, without fear of retribution from nonconformists’ to our thinking and no recrimination for our beliefs with each one of us living our lives following our dreams and our passions with freedom and love in our hearts.

I have a dream that this post will make me money.

Oh yes I have a dream.

Author Steve Boddey 

Anxiety Dreams

The car rolled slowly down the driveway, stopping just behind the marquee that was now humming along to the DJ playing the old 70’s and 80’s style music.

A man stumbles around the corner and fumbles trying to get a cigarette out and lighting it.

“Hey, your not suppose to park there.” He reaches for the driver side door and opens it. There is nobody there. He looks in side. The keys are still in the ignition. He decides against trying to move the car and heads back to the party to find someone else to move it.

The man returns and tells his friend about how the car came to a stop but no-one was driving. He’s had too much to drink the other man thinks as he gets into the car and turns the ignition key.

The explosion sends debris everywhere. Floating through the carnage there are people screaming and others lying silent. Body parts are scattered about the place with fires raging here and others just are flickering as though they were candles.

My view of the scene rushes here and there as slowly I am watching from above. As I glance across the suburb as I am flying higher and higher I can see other explosions across the land.

My vision is becoming blurred and then suddenly black.

Author Steve Boddey