Away with the fairies

I shall for the next few days be away working so I leave you good people with the following........

At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.
There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.

Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Southland and Otago, stands up and proclaims:'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Holden every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!'The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says,'If the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education for his children!'More sighs and loud applause.

Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile,'If the Vicar stays, I will give him sex.'There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her:'Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?'

Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies:
'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'Fuck him'

Whitesnakes do it better ...all the time..........see ya in a few..........!