I have spoken previously about my Doctor pointing out that my anxiety stems from mistreatment at work. Having had to deal with it in three jobs has compounded the anxiety and therefore it is not work my body is rejecting it is the fear of the way I maybe treated that is the problem.
I use to work for a supermarket chain and one of the areas I worked was in the produce area.
I had been given two warning in quick succession for my performance as a security officer which at a later date they were torn up and an apology given.
I was told that they valued my work ethic and professionalism and placed me in the produce and grocery areas.
That was five years ago and today while I began putting away the shopping I started to shake more than normal, I became hot and sweaty and my breathing was brisk.
The onset of a panic attack but why and what had triggered such a reaction?
As I proceeded to dice some fresh carrots for freezing my shaking became worse and my tee shirt soaked in sweat. My mind then raced back to all the things that happened at the supermarket and how manipulative they were. I remember every word and my counter arguments being cast aside.
My mind then went back to the time before that reminding me of the humiliation I endured. Thoughts of my last job and the same treatment bubble in my head.
Oh this is going to be a very long journey.