Laugh a Lot

A Muslim has been shot in the head with a starting pistol; police say
it's definitely race related...

Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have
announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8...

I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but
explaining they were not a dating agency...

Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one but after looking
through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French
maids outfit, and a police woman's uniform, he finally decided if she
can't hold down a job, she's not for him


Paddy is doing some roofing work for Murphy He nears the top of the
ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy. He calls down to Murphy and
says, "I tink I will 'ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel
sick." Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?" Paddy replies "No I only
live round the corner."

Whitesnakes do it better ................ Sliding it in!