Oh My God

I was brought up a Roman Catholic and I suppose that means the Romans had something to do with it.

Does that mean I could be related to some Emperor?

Actually the name Boddey,(pronounced BODY! My surname) goes way back to the olden days and if it were not for that prick Wee William the Conquer I would have been born with into royalty. Wouldn’t that have been fun?
Anyway! It got me to thinking about all the different religions and about the way I have been brought up.

You know the stuff. Be nice and all the other bits that go with it. 

It seems to me that no one really knows what religion is about. I mean things like the 10 commandments and the Koran and the book of Mormon and the other books that go around. See the bastards sell the books and make money and you know what that means.  

Yep! Money is the root of all evil. So that means all religions are evil right? 

Religion is a contradiction of itself!

I base it on my upbringing and things I have been taught.

Love thy neighbour. Yes ok but then it says do not commit adultery!

HELLO!!!!!!!

Do not covet thy neighbours’ goods. If you have seen my neighbours then you would know there is nothing I want. Let alone covet. If there was, am I allowed to borrow them?

Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

Well ok. It doesn’t quite work that way does it? You are nice to some one and they either tell you to go to hell or want to rob you. So that means we all should be telling each other where to shove it and stealing things. Goes back to the root of all evil again. 

Turn the other cheek.

Yeah right!

Get arrested for things like that. Dropped my pants once to show my cheek and I copped a mouth full of abuse. Whatever happened to loving thy neighbour?  

Then you get things like interpretation.

Oh yes! The bible or whatever book you are into says this. However if YOUR interpretation of things is different then others will tell you that it meant this or whatever differing view. 

How the hell would they know?

Where they there when it was written? Or translated?

NO!

Only a celibate could come up with the idea of the rhythm method when it comes to birth control.

At the point of ejaculation withdraw.
There is NOT a herd of wild horses going to make MY arse go in the opposite direction.

Thy shall not tell fibs.

Well there you go! Now the buggers are trying to make it harder for you

“Darling you look good.” LIAR!!!!!!!!

You can not tell her the truth can you?

“Darling, you look terrible.”

Thy shall love thy God.

Yeah Right!

How do I know who this God person is anyway?

Could be my neighbour.

Thy shall not worship false idols.

Just how do I know if it false or not and does it include American Idol? 

Thy shall not kill.

Well now we are all going to hell.

Ever killed an animal an insect, caught a fish, picked fruit or vegetables?
Then you have killed. Just proves that we are all stuffed.

You will not win. We are all guilty of something. Just some more than others!

Whitesnakes do it better ………when Jesus saves and Moses invests.