Fairy Christmas

I am a little fairy
    On tap o' the Christmas Tree
    It's no' a job I fancy
    Well how would you like tae be me?

    A'm tarted up wi' tinsel
    It's enough to mak ye boak
    An a couple o' jaggy branches
    Rammed up the back o' your froack.

    An' wi'a' these lights a'roon me
    I canna get my sleep
    An' there's the yearly visit
    Fae Santa - Big fat creep!

    On Christmas Day I'm stuck up here
    While you're a a'wirin' in
    An' naebody says "Hey you up there,-
Could you go a slug o' gin?

    It's nae joke bein' a fairy
    The job's beyond belief
    Ye go 'roon and 'roon the bairnies beds
    An' lift their rotten teeth.

    But o' a' the joabs a fairy gets
    An' I've mentioned only some,
    The very worst is up a tree
    Wi' pine needles up yir bum.

When    a' the fairies meet again
    By the light of' the silvery moon,
    Ye can tell the Christmas fairies -
They're the wans that canna sit doon.

The    Christmas tree's a bonny sight
    As the firelight softly flickers
    But think o' me,- A'm stuck up  here
    Wi' needles in my knickers !

    So soon as Christmas time's right by
    An' I stop bein' sae full o' cheer
    I'll get awa back tae Fairyland
    An' Ah'll see yous a' next year.

Once more thanks to Dave F for this one.

Whitesnakes do it better  ...................... NAY bother!