Tuesday, October 9, 2018

My Essential Tremor Journey





My ET journey would have been mild if it not been for a series of unexpected bumps.

My ET should have just been hereditary, just mild tremors that would come and go with minimal disruption to everyday life however a work injury would be the start of a life changing struggle.

The work injury caused damage to the ulnar nerve in my right arm. I would drop things, have difficulty picking things up and of course pain.

This injury also brought with it some friends that I have gotten to know intimately, stress, anxiety and depression. I still have these friends come visit even today. It was being bullied in the workplace that started to have an affect on me. It created anger, frustration and confusion. I could not believe what was happening especially in a world where bullying is supposedly unacceptable.

I could no longer do my job so I was placed on Workcover (an organization that looks after people with work injuries and I use that term loosely) I was eventually given a payout and decided to move from Australia to New Zealand to remove myself from the constant reminders of my experiences.

I still suffered pain and I did start to notice my hands shaking more than normal but thought nothing of it. I found work as a security officer but even over here in overly PC New Zealand I once again became a victim of bullying and so the nightmare began again. I left and found another job, still doing security however it just became more of the same, more bullying and the ones that were supposed to be enforcing anti-bullying laws were the main culprits.

It all came to a head when I helped another employee write a complaint letter. Senior management found out and all of a sudden I was being accused of various things. I finally snapped, collapsed in the car never to return again.

My Dr placed me on a not able to work program and I have been on it ever since. I was sent to a specialist who within a matter of minutes diagnosed ET brought on by stress, anxiety, depression, PTSD and my ongoing workplace injury.

I shake I twitch and lose balance. When I see others being mistreated like I was I get emotional and angry. I take meds and have are numerous CBT sessions of which few work as my PTSD from bullying runs very deep.

ET is not just about shaking; it is also about stress, worry, anxiety, frustration and depression. These things add to the dilemma we suffers face.

If you think my shakings bad come inside my head.

Author Steve Boddey


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