Two Arabic looking gentlemen were having coffee together.
"You see this picture?"He shows his friend.
"This Asif, He would be 17 years old this September"."
"What happened?"His friend asks.
"Suicide bomber."The man tells him.
" And this is Jivad, he would have been 15."
"Suicide Bomber"? "His friend enquiries.
The oldman nods his head.
"Here is Yousef. He would have been 11 in July."
His friend looks at him again and asks "Suicide Bomber?"
The oldman once again nods his head in the affirmative.
"Kids blow up so quickly these days! "
Whitesnakes do it better ....when ya laugh at the world.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Morning humour
Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.
When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.
The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very expensive."
"How much?" asked Grandpa.
"$10.00 a pill," Answered the son.
"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."
Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow.
He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10, not $110.
"I know," said Grandpa.
"The hundred is from Grandma!"
Whitesnakes do it better ......They just DO!
When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.
The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very expensive."
"How much?" asked Grandpa.
"$10.00 a pill," Answered the son.
"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."
Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow.
He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10, not $110.
"I know," said Grandpa.
"The hundred is from Grandma!"
Whitesnakes do it better ......They just DO!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Anzac day and other bits.
For quite a few months now I have been having problems in regards to what I should or should not write about. Trying to find stuff ta talk about and find stuff that would interest others. To be honest, that was probably the biggest mistake I made. Fuck pleasing others and trying ta be nice and polite. Stick ya political correctness up ya bum. (It fits in there nicely with some people.)
I went out last night and got home around one maybe three am.
Before I went out the darling wife had been sitting at her laptop giggling away ta herself and finally decided ta share what she had been reading with me.
Canada joins 'racist' NZ Eskimo lolly debate who would have thought some 21year old woman who has just got outta nappies and who probally had a bad case of PMS at the time would come up with this sort crap?
The best part is some of the comments that are left with the article and most actually come from her fellow countrymen.
Countrymen it is. Not country person or woman. Countrymen is the way it is suppose ta be. Besides if ya say it properly it has a female sound ta it anyways. (You figure it out)
Anyways so this woman is all up in arms over an ice-cream and ta make matters worse she intends visiting Australia where we have Coon Cheese and our drink containers are called Esky’s. You read it. The best one was about the Martians and Mars bars.
Oh and does anyone know what an Inuit is? Is sounds like an insult ta me........
I went out yesterday afternoon or there abouts with a mate.
We went ta his local Manurewa RSA . Pronounced MAN U REE WA for those that feel the need ta say it correctly. We had an absolutely brilliant time.
Lawrence had put a bet on and was watching the race on the tube when all of a sudden the TV went off and lights started ta fade. He looked at me and asked WTF was going on.
“6pm.”I said standing up and placing my beer on the table.
For those not knowledgeable in such things. At 6pm in any RSA club everything stops and we stand in silence ta remember fallen comrades. Doesn’t last long but poor Lawrence missed watching his horse win. Well I think it won.
We sat down and had a laugh at how he had been coming ta the club for years but had rarely been there at 6pm for the remembrance time.
We ended up at his house where I met his beautiful wife from American Samoa.
I didn’t realise that there was a place called American Samoa I thought she was just highlighting the fact she had American heritage.
See there is Western Samoa and American Samoa so called because they couldn’t spell East.
We ended up opening a bottle of red and we had a marvellous time so we all thought we should go back ta my place and annoy the crap outta Shaz.
3.20am I hit me pillow.
In the morning I awoke as I normally do. Cooked breakfast and started ta read the paper. Being that today is ANZAC Day they had the times for the dawn services which we had missed by some 6-7 hours but as I read it I started ta giggle.
As Shaz so often does she had ta know what I found so humorous. As usual she also regrets asking.
I proceeded ta read out the service times to her, BUT, I added my own version of later times.
Something along the lines of …..
Dawn service at Tamiki at 5.55 am followed by mass at la la la.
For those lazy bastards that couldn’t be bothered getting their fat arses outta bed there will be a 3pm service so ya have NO excuses for not turning up!
It’s just the way my mind works……
Whitesnakes do it better …………. When we shall remember them!
I went out last night and got home around one maybe three am.
Before I went out the darling wife had been sitting at her laptop giggling away ta herself and finally decided ta share what she had been reading with me.
Canada joins 'racist' NZ Eskimo lolly debate who would have thought some 21year old woman who has just got outta nappies and who probally had a bad case of PMS at the time would come up with this sort crap?
The best part is some of the comments that are left with the article and most actually come from her fellow countrymen.
Countrymen it is. Not country person or woman. Countrymen is the way it is suppose ta be. Besides if ya say it properly it has a female sound ta it anyways. (You figure it out)
Anyways so this woman is all up in arms over an ice-cream and ta make matters worse she intends visiting Australia where we have Coon Cheese and our drink containers are called Esky’s. You read it. The best one was about the Martians and Mars bars.
Oh and does anyone know what an Inuit is? Is sounds like an insult ta me........
I went out yesterday afternoon or there abouts with a mate.
We went ta his local Manurewa RSA . Pronounced MAN U REE WA for those that feel the need ta say it correctly. We had an absolutely brilliant time.
Lawrence had put a bet on and was watching the race on the tube when all of a sudden the TV went off and lights started ta fade. He looked at me and asked WTF was going on.
“6pm.”I said standing up and placing my beer on the table.
For those not knowledgeable in such things. At 6pm in any RSA club everything stops and we stand in silence ta remember fallen comrades. Doesn’t last long but poor Lawrence missed watching his horse win. Well I think it won.
We sat down and had a laugh at how he had been coming ta the club for years but had rarely been there at 6pm for the remembrance time.
We ended up at his house where I met his beautiful wife from American Samoa.
I didn’t realise that there was a place called American Samoa I thought she was just highlighting the fact she had American heritage.
See there is Western Samoa and American Samoa so called because they couldn’t spell East.
We ended up opening a bottle of red and we had a marvellous time so we all thought we should go back ta my place and annoy the crap outta Shaz.
3.20am I hit me pillow.
In the morning I awoke as I normally do. Cooked breakfast and started ta read the paper. Being that today is ANZAC Day they had the times for the dawn services which we had missed by some 6-7 hours but as I read it I started ta giggle.
As Shaz so often does she had ta know what I found so humorous. As usual she also regrets asking.
I proceeded ta read out the service times to her, BUT, I added my own version of later times.
Something along the lines of …..
Dawn service at Tamiki at 5.55 am followed by mass at la la la.
For those lazy bastards that couldn’t be bothered getting their fat arses outta bed there will be a 3pm service so ya have NO excuses for not turning up!
It’s just the way my mind works……
Whitesnakes do it better …………. When we shall remember them!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Stimulus Package
Stimulus Payment Information.
“This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new
program that I will explain using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgin.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set or some such
thing, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Australian economy by spending your
stimulus cheque wisely:
If you spend that money at Kmart, all the money will go to China .
If you spend it on petrol it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer it will go to India .
If you buy a car it will go to Japan .
If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan .
And none of it will help the Australian economy.
We need to keep that money here in Australia. You can keep the money in Australia by spending
it at garage sales, going to a cricket match or footy game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer
and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses that may still be
owned by Aussies.
Thank you all Australians,
Your mate,
K.RUDD.
Whitesnakes do it better.....errrr right!
“This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new
program that I will explain using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgin.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set or some such
thing, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Australian economy by spending your
stimulus cheque wisely:
If you spend that money at Kmart, all the money will go to China .
If you spend it on petrol it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer it will go to India .
If you buy a car it will go to Japan .
If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan .
And none of it will help the Australian economy.
We need to keep that money here in Australia. You can keep the money in Australia by spending
it at garage sales, going to a cricket match or footy game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer
and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses that may still be
owned by Aussies.
Thank you all Australians,
Your mate,
K.RUDD.
Whitesnakes do it better.....errrr right!
Home Remedies
AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
Whitesnakes do it better .......... Don't they Katrina?
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
Whitesnakes do it better .......... Don't they Katrina?
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Medical Check Up
Men have a difficult life that women will never come ta terms with.
I blame the women’s movement for all the pressure that men are now put under.
Women are demanding things.
“Give me things, do things ta me!”
“Do exotic things and plenty of them!”
“Tonight …… I think I’ll have multiple orgasms!”
“Huh? What’s that?”
“Come on go for it my darling. Plenty of orgasms I’ll tell ya when ta stop.”
No sooner had we found the clitoris, we have ta search for the G spot!”
I couldn’t find it with a wetsuit and a divers helmet.
It’s difficult ta be a man.
The men’s movement in the USA has taken the country by storm.
No wonder.
Ya see films and documentaries on the women’s movement saying we want this and we want that and we’ll take some of that and ya can have this but we will have all of that and we’ll see if we want any of that, we demand a share in that and we want most of that, less of that and more of this. WE want it now we want it yesterday and we want plenty more tomorrow. Oh and by the way, tomorrow it will all be change so pay attention.
Good grief it goes on and on.
Ya see men have it tough.
Even going ta the doctors is an experience many dare not go through.
This is why men wont go.
As we get older ya have ta visit more frequently. There are things that need ta be checked on. Things that need ta be prodded and poked.
Hair gets less on the head and makes its way through ya nose, ears and arse.
For what reason, I know not.
Changing countries doesn’t help you neither mainly due to the fact some countries are more up to date than others.
So, off ta the clinic and into the room.
“Please take off ya pants Mr Boddey.” “Sure”
He’s got a rubber glove on. He’s got my testicles in his hand.
A unique moment I thought.
I all of a sudden develop a fascination with the eye chart that is on the wall.
I am consumed with interest but I am also trying to mentally get in contact with my penis. Telling it, “Don’t fucking move!”
See you women laugh about it but men have ta walk around with this appendage sticking outta of our bodies. It has no brain and doesn’t know the difference between a woman and a bus. Sitting on a bus feeling the vibrations. Boing!
It even gets up before ya in the morning. It’s hell!
Anyway, “Could you cough for me please Mr Boddey?”
“Cough cough!”
“That’s fine.”
He fluffs around and produces a toothpaste kind of tube and starts unleashing some clear substance onto his glove.
Cleaning his glove. Glove cleaning jelly.
He says. “We may as well look at the prostrate while you’re here.”
I said “Sure.”
Ya see back in Aussie ta check the prostrate ya have a blood test. No problems at all.
“Mr Boddey could you please place both hands on the bed.”
“Ya WHAT?”
ÄRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH”
“That’s not a finger!”
I’m thinking ta myself if I turn round and this guy is zipping up his fly there is murder gonna be committed here.
When he had finished I stood there all bewildered.
The penis was dead limp; the testicles had retracted ta places unknown. My face was ashen, the eyes watery and the nose runny.
“You can get dressed Mr Boddey.” he says.
I felt worse than I did when I came in.
“Everything seems to be in order. We will see you in 12months and have another check shall we?”
Now, I don’t know about you but it seems ta me that Australia and New Zealand are really not that far away from being on the ball as far as medical knowledge is concerned but I am thinking maybe the prostrate check is something ta do with the Kiwi’s fixation with sheep shagging.
Whitesnakes do it better …… when ya fit and healthy.
I blame the women’s movement for all the pressure that men are now put under.
Women are demanding things.
“Give me things, do things ta me!”
“Do exotic things and plenty of them!”
“Tonight …… I think I’ll have multiple orgasms!”
“Huh? What’s that?”
“Come on go for it my darling. Plenty of orgasms I’ll tell ya when ta stop.”
No sooner had we found the clitoris, we have ta search for the G spot!”
I couldn’t find it with a wetsuit and a divers helmet.
It’s difficult ta be a man.
The men’s movement in the USA has taken the country by storm.
No wonder.
Ya see films and documentaries on the women’s movement saying we want this and we want that and we’ll take some of that and ya can have this but we will have all of that and we’ll see if we want any of that, we demand a share in that and we want most of that, less of that and more of this. WE want it now we want it yesterday and we want plenty more tomorrow. Oh and by the way, tomorrow it will all be change so pay attention.
Good grief it goes on and on.
Ya see men have it tough.
Even going ta the doctors is an experience many dare not go through.
This is why men wont go.
As we get older ya have ta visit more frequently. There are things that need ta be checked on. Things that need ta be prodded and poked.
Hair gets less on the head and makes its way through ya nose, ears and arse.
For what reason, I know not.
Changing countries doesn’t help you neither mainly due to the fact some countries are more up to date than others.
So, off ta the clinic and into the room.
“Please take off ya pants Mr Boddey.” “Sure”
He’s got a rubber glove on. He’s got my testicles in his hand.
A unique moment I thought.
I all of a sudden develop a fascination with the eye chart that is on the wall.
I am consumed with interest but I am also trying to mentally get in contact with my penis. Telling it, “Don’t fucking move!”
See you women laugh about it but men have ta walk around with this appendage sticking outta of our bodies. It has no brain and doesn’t know the difference between a woman and a bus. Sitting on a bus feeling the vibrations. Boing!
It even gets up before ya in the morning. It’s hell!
Anyway, “Could you cough for me please Mr Boddey?”
“Cough cough!”
“That’s fine.”
He fluffs around and produces a toothpaste kind of tube and starts unleashing some clear substance onto his glove.
Cleaning his glove. Glove cleaning jelly.
He says. “We may as well look at the prostrate while you’re here.”
I said “Sure.”
Ya see back in Aussie ta check the prostrate ya have a blood test. No problems at all.
“Mr Boddey could you please place both hands on the bed.”
“Ya WHAT?”
ÄRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH”
“That’s not a finger!”
I’m thinking ta myself if I turn round and this guy is zipping up his fly there is murder gonna be committed here.
When he had finished I stood there all bewildered.
The penis was dead limp; the testicles had retracted ta places unknown. My face was ashen, the eyes watery and the nose runny.
“You can get dressed Mr Boddey.” he says.
I felt worse than I did when I came in.
“Everything seems to be in order. We will see you in 12months and have another check shall we?”
Now, I don’t know about you but it seems ta me that Australia and New Zealand are really not that far away from being on the ball as far as medical knowledge is concerned but I am thinking maybe the prostrate check is something ta do with the Kiwi’s fixation with sheep shagging.
Whitesnakes do it better …… when ya fit and healthy.
Amish Sex
An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day.
The daughter said to her mother, 'My hands are freezing cold.'
The mother replied,'Put them between your legs.Your body heat will warm them up.'
The daughter did,and her hands warmed up.The next day,the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said,'My hands are freezin cold.'
The girl replied,'Put them between my legs.The warmth of my body will warm them up.'
He did and warmed his hands.
The following day,the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter.
He said,'My nose is cold.'
The girl replied,'Put it between my legs.The warmth of my body will warm it up.'
He did and warmed his nose.
The next day the boyfriend was again driving the daughter,and he said,'My penis is frozen solid.'
The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother again,and she says to her Mother, 'Have you ever heard of a penis?'Slightly concerned the mother said,
'Why,yes,Why do you ask?'
The daughter replies:
They make one hell of a mess when they defrost,
don't they?
Whitesnakes do it better ..................... when ya put it between the legs!
The daughter said to her mother, 'My hands are freezing cold.'
The mother replied,'Put them between your legs.Your body heat will warm them up.'
The daughter did,and her hands warmed up.The next day,the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said,'My hands are freezin cold.'
The girl replied,'Put them between my legs.The warmth of my body will warm them up.'
He did and warmed his hands.
The following day,the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter.
He said,'My nose is cold.'
The girl replied,'Put it between my legs.The warmth of my body will warm it up.'
He did and warmed his nose.
The next day the boyfriend was again driving the daughter,and he said,'My penis is frozen solid.'
The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother again,and she says to her Mother, 'Have you ever heard of a penis?'Slightly concerned the mother said,
'Why,yes,Why do you ask?'
The daughter replies:
They make one hell of a mess when they defrost,
don't they?
Whitesnakes do it better ..................... when ya put it between the legs!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Hymns
A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.
He said 'Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach.
Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind
' The pastor shouted out 'CROSS.' Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, 'THE OLD RUGGED CROSS.'
The pastor hollered out 'GRACE.' The congregation began to sing 'AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound.'
The pastor said 'POWER.' The congregation sang 'THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD.'
The Pastor said 'SEX'
The congregation fell into total silence.
Everyone was in shock.
They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything.
Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church,A little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing 'MEMORIES.'
Whitesnakes do it better ........ Don't they Mum?
He said 'Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach.
Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind
' The pastor shouted out 'CROSS.' Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, 'THE OLD RUGGED CROSS.'
The pastor hollered out 'GRACE.' The congregation began to sing 'AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound.'
The pastor said 'POWER.' The congregation sang 'THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD.'
The Pastor said 'SEX'
The congregation fell into total silence.
Everyone was in shock.
They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything.
Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church,A little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing 'MEMORIES.'
Whitesnakes do it better ........ Don't they Mum?
Monday, April 20, 2009
Funny how life is!
Will I Live to see 80?
Here's something to think about.
I recently picked a new primary care doctor.
After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned 49.)
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'
'Oh no,' I replied... 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?
'I said, 'Not much... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
'No,' I said.
He looked at me and said,...
'Then, why do you even give a shit?
Whitesnakes do it better ....Don't they sis?
Here's something to think about.
I recently picked a new primary care doctor.
After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned 49.)
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'
'Oh no,' I replied... 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?
'I said, 'Not much... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
'No,' I said.
He looked at me and said,...
'Then, why do you even give a shit?
Whitesnakes do it better ....Don't they sis?
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Supermarket
A new supermarket opened in Otara. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on,you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the milk shelves hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.
In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread & cookies.
I don't buy toilet paper there any more.
Whitesnakes do it better ......... Oh PLEASE close the door!
When you pass the milk shelves hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.
In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread & cookies.
I don't buy toilet paper there any more.
Whitesnakes do it better ......... Oh PLEASE close the door!
Language
In this wonderful world we live in, we find that mankind has developed a great need to dehumanise others. All of us are guilty of belittling someone at sometime in life.
From the Catholic churches priests have the stigma of being untrustworthy with children. Hindus have their caste system. Islamists have their terrorism. The list goes on.
The Spanish used religion to rid the world of none believers. Well all are aware of what happens in the world today. Our world is fast becoming a place for terrorists of all kinds.
Cyber bullying, texting, phone calls hate mail TV news etc. If you bump into some, look at someone the wrong way, they will use language which is now becoming the norm. Respect has gone!
Has our world become a place where we spend all our time looking after number one? Are we developing a culture that nurtures the power hungry?
Do we really want to live in a world where standover tactics are the norm?
Technology is bringing a new form of language into our lives. It brings us closer to situations which we would normally never hear nor see. It is the language of pictures and words. If you text do you shorten words? Do articles on TV make your blood boil? Does the PC and play station take over from the spoken word?
Is conversation becoming a thing of the past? Have you ever noticed that when you do phone someone that after you hang up you can think of a whole lot more you wanted to say?
Even romance has taken a hit. The language of love and peace, caring and sharing is dwindling away.
We are all so wrapped up within our own little worlds.
Language isn't just about the written or spoken word, it is about our whole being.
The world is changing and our language is changing and I am not sure that is a good thing!
Whitesnakes do it better ………. When there is conversation to be had.
From the Catholic churches priests have the stigma of being untrustworthy with children. Hindus have their caste system. Islamists have their terrorism. The list goes on.
The Spanish used religion to rid the world of none believers. Well all are aware of what happens in the world today. Our world is fast becoming a place for terrorists of all kinds.
Cyber bullying, texting, phone calls hate mail TV news etc. If you bump into some, look at someone the wrong way, they will use language which is now becoming the norm. Respect has gone!
Has our world become a place where we spend all our time looking after number one? Are we developing a culture that nurtures the power hungry?
Do we really want to live in a world where standover tactics are the norm?
Technology is bringing a new form of language into our lives. It brings us closer to situations which we would normally never hear nor see. It is the language of pictures and words. If you text do you shorten words? Do articles on TV make your blood boil? Does the PC and play station take over from the spoken word?
Is conversation becoming a thing of the past? Have you ever noticed that when you do phone someone that after you hang up you can think of a whole lot more you wanted to say?
Even romance has taken a hit. The language of love and peace, caring and sharing is dwindling away.
We are all so wrapped up within our own little worlds.
Language isn't just about the written or spoken word, it is about our whole being.
The world is changing and our language is changing and I am not sure that is a good thing!
Whitesnakes do it better ………. When there is conversation to be had.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
BBQ Delights
A BBQ with the Whitesnake
The layout! 
The infamous curried eggs!
Feed the peeps meat!
Other delights ......
The really nice stuff ......
Of course the empties .......
Whitesnakes do it better ... but of course!
A BBQ with the Whitesnake !
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Scary ..... Easter Sundays Thoughts.
It seems that sometimes ideas do not flow as easy as I would like.
Over the past month or so I have been concentrating on finding new friends and work in a new country.
I have been somewhat particular as to who I befriend. Finding work however has been a slow process as the majority of companies work on Fiji time!
Fiji time means getting around to it when you can.
I have found a job; I just have to go through all the red tape before I can start. Changing over my licence from Australian to New Zealand seems to take a lifetime although in reality it has only been a week.
Today is Easter Sunday and from a religious point of view it maybe special to some but I have lost the value of its meaning.
Shaz’s family will be around this afternoon for our first family get together at our place. Most of the preparations are done so it is the final bits and pieces that need to be put into place that are all that is required.
I have to admit I am pretty lucky that Shaz’s mum is one very thoughtful, kind and understanding person. Not many men can say that about a mother in-law.
We were talking on Saturday afternoon whilst having a beer and a wine about different foods and things we had as kids. As we all started discussing the delicacy’s’ that we enjoyed I found myself remembering stuff that I thought were long forgotten.
It seems they were hidden just underneath a mind full of current happenings.
Two slices of bread, sliced into squares, add sugar and milk. That was breakfast.
Two sausages one scoop of mashed spud peas or beans was lunch.
Two slices of bread, one smeared with jam (Pineapple jam it was cheaper) the other placed on top that was dinner.
When I got to high school dinner improved, two slices of toast with fried tomatoes dumped on top. I can remember working at the local service station and on my weekly wage of $3 I would go to the bakery and purchase two crusty bread rolls. My mum would slice them in half toast them and dump fried tomatoes on top. I would have one and my mum the other.
I would often watch my mum cooking and ask stupid questions like “How much of this or that do ya put in?” Her reply was always the same. “Just enough to make it properly”
As I am approaching the half way mark of my life (unless I actually do live forever) I have been pondering what have I achieved. Have I improved myself, have I just lived my life as my mother and father did. Have I boldly gone where no-one has gone before or have I just followed the genetic line of my forefathers?
Looking back, I have done quite well. I have achieved quite a bit and as I enter the next phase in life I am finding that I too old to die young.
So sometimes looking back can be scary, sometimes looking ahead can be scary.
Sometimes you just have ta grab hold of ya balls and take that leap of faith.
Whitesnakes do it better ……. When ya ready and willing!
Over the past month or so I have been concentrating on finding new friends and work in a new country.
I have been somewhat particular as to who I befriend. Finding work however has been a slow process as the majority of companies work on Fiji time!
Fiji time means getting around to it when you can.
I have found a job; I just have to go through all the red tape before I can start. Changing over my licence from Australian to New Zealand seems to take a lifetime although in reality it has only been a week.
Today is Easter Sunday and from a religious point of view it maybe special to some but I have lost the value of its meaning.
Shaz’s family will be around this afternoon for our first family get together at our place. Most of the preparations are done so it is the final bits and pieces that need to be put into place that are all that is required.
I have to admit I am pretty lucky that Shaz’s mum is one very thoughtful, kind and understanding person. Not many men can say that about a mother in-law.
We were talking on Saturday afternoon whilst having a beer and a wine about different foods and things we had as kids. As we all started discussing the delicacy’s’ that we enjoyed I found myself remembering stuff that I thought were long forgotten.
It seems they were hidden just underneath a mind full of current happenings.
Two slices of bread, sliced into squares, add sugar and milk. That was breakfast.
Two sausages one scoop of mashed spud peas or beans was lunch.
Two slices of bread, one smeared with jam (Pineapple jam it was cheaper) the other placed on top that was dinner.
When I got to high school dinner improved, two slices of toast with fried tomatoes dumped on top. I can remember working at the local service station and on my weekly wage of $3 I would go to the bakery and purchase two crusty bread rolls. My mum would slice them in half toast them and dump fried tomatoes on top. I would have one and my mum the other.
I would often watch my mum cooking and ask stupid questions like “How much of this or that do ya put in?” Her reply was always the same. “Just enough to make it properly”
As I am approaching the half way mark of my life (unless I actually do live forever) I have been pondering what have I achieved. Have I improved myself, have I just lived my life as my mother and father did. Have I boldly gone where no-one has gone before or have I just followed the genetic line of my forefathers?
Looking back, I have done quite well. I have achieved quite a bit and as I enter the next phase in life I am finding that I too old to die young.
So sometimes looking back can be scary, sometimes looking ahead can be scary.
Sometimes you just have ta grab hold of ya balls and take that leap of faith.
Whitesnakes do it better ……. When ya ready and willing!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
One eye to Morocco
One eye to Morocco and the other to the Caucasus.
I think we all need to take a break from blogging and rejuvenate the creative forces that we all have.
Seems to me that taking a break gets us to revaluate the direction in in which we want our lives to go.
Believe it or not I have seen more of NZ in the past few months than I have Australia in the 40 years I lived there. Strange ways indeed.
This weekend I watched my first Rugby Union game down in a place called Hamilton. Just a local game nothing spectacular but none the less enjoyable.
The sun was beating down and the best shade was in the bar area with some kids and a couple of to die for barmaids.
Tried my first Waikato draught beer. Finally opened a bottle of beer with just a lighter, well opened 4 ta be correct. Tasted my first lot of decent fish n chips with scallops and fried chicken. Had my first taste of corn fritters. Went to some mountain where they laid to rest the Maori queen. Gazed over the mighty Waikato River. Downed a few beers with some down ta earth Maoris. Learnt a little bit about the culture and met some mighty fine peeps. All in all a good day out.
Got home and went straight ta bed as I was a wee bit worse for wear. (How odd!)
Our container has finally been delivered and we now have all our personal stuff here which actually adds to the comfort of living here. A few of my discs for the PC have been warped whilst sitting in the container but other than a few dents in the fridge no other damage done.
This weekend coming is Easter and we have the family coming over which will be really cool.
My first wife Deb let my youngest daughter give me her home phone number so I could ring her and talk with her which was ultra cool so thanks Deb
.
I missed out on a job at a major shopping centre not cos I wasn’t good enough but purely on the basis of an internal transfer within the company and now they like me so much I have another interview this week so that they can have me on their books.
Now that is so cool aye?
Met a guy called Steve who I introduced ta blogging right about the time I took a break. We had a few chuckles over the fact some peeps thought we were one in the same. Serious Black is or rather has a similar sense of humour ta mine and we do think a lot a like. He was fascinated by the blogging world and how there are so many talented peeps around.
Well for now that’s me done. I am off ta get a feed. You all take care and stay safe.
Whitesnakes do it better ………… All the time babe all the time
I think we all need to take a break from blogging and rejuvenate the creative forces that we all have.
Seems to me that taking a break gets us to revaluate the direction in in which we want our lives to go.
Believe it or not I have seen more of NZ in the past few months than I have Australia in the 40 years I lived there. Strange ways indeed.
This weekend I watched my first Rugby Union game down in a place called Hamilton. Just a local game nothing spectacular but none the less enjoyable.
The sun was beating down and the best shade was in the bar area with some kids and a couple of to die for barmaids.
Tried my first Waikato draught beer. Finally opened a bottle of beer with just a lighter, well opened 4 ta be correct. Tasted my first lot of decent fish n chips with scallops and fried chicken. Had my first taste of corn fritters. Went to some mountain where they laid to rest the Maori queen. Gazed over the mighty Waikato River. Downed a few beers with some down ta earth Maoris. Learnt a little bit about the culture and met some mighty fine peeps. All in all a good day out.
Got home and went straight ta bed as I was a wee bit worse for wear. (How odd!)
Our container has finally been delivered and we now have all our personal stuff here which actually adds to the comfort of living here. A few of my discs for the PC have been warped whilst sitting in the container but other than a few dents in the fridge no other damage done.
This weekend coming is Easter and we have the family coming over which will be really cool.
My first wife Deb let my youngest daughter give me her home phone number so I could ring her and talk with her which was ultra cool so thanks Deb
.
I missed out on a job at a major shopping centre not cos I wasn’t good enough but purely on the basis of an internal transfer within the company and now they like me so much I have another interview this week so that they can have me on their books.
Now that is so cool aye?
Met a guy called Steve who I introduced ta blogging right about the time I took a break. We had a few chuckles over the fact some peeps thought we were one in the same. Serious Black is or rather has a similar sense of humour ta mine and we do think a lot a like. He was fascinated by the blogging world and how there are so many talented peeps around.
Well for now that’s me done. I am off ta get a feed. You all take care and stay safe.
Whitesnakes do it better ………… All the time babe all the time
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Ultimate Groove
full of answers,
no question about that,
what you say, what you do,
is totally out of whack.
in a place distant and werid,
wolves howl at the moon,
words fall on deaf ears,
you're in you're ulitmate groove.
no excuses given,
silence your only friend,
happiness has found you,
like it should in the end,
lay down the axe you grind,
get off of your broom,
you're better than that,
in you're ulitmate groove.
Steve Boddey April 2009
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